This Blog Is Fake

Weekly report

My boss: Do you have your weekly report completed yet?
Me: It's in the final stages of completion.
Boss: What does that mean?
Me: It means that I spent most of my morning sitting in the bathroom reading the newspaper and the rest of my morning trying to decide where I'll go to lunch.
Boss: ...
Me: I picked Panera.

Fish bowl

Today is Saturday, so I cleaned out my fish bowl. I don’t actually have a fish, but the bowl...

Morning Pants

This morning I got out of bed, walked over to my closet, and spent about 10 minutes deciding what...