Everybody lies on the internet. I happen to be honest about it.Tumblr (3.0; @thisblogisfake)http://thisblogisfake.tumblr.com/My boss: Do you have your weekly report completed yet?<br /> Me: It's in the final stages of completion.<br /> Boss: What does that mean?<br /> Me: It means that I spent most of my morning sitting in the bathroom reading the newspaper and the rest of my morning trying to decide where I'll go to lunch.<br /> Boss: ...<br /> Me: I picked Panera.http://thisblogisfake.tumblr.com/post/27172449http://thisblogisfake.tumblr.com/post/27172449Sun, 24 Feb 2008 15:06:50 -0500<p>Today is Saturday, so I cleaned out my fish bowl. I don’t actually have a fish, but the bowl still develops a foul odor each week. Sometimes I think I have a ghost fish, and that makes me wonder if regular ghosts get B.O.</p> <p>I hope I’m never haunted by the ghost of Saddam Hussein. What a stench that must be. Those military uniforms don’t breathe at all. Speaking of which, part of my cleaning procedure includes fog-breathing on my fish bowl, and today I swear that I saw the image of a fish in the condensation. And it had a beard around its neck. Or maybe it was a noose. </p>http://thisblogisfake.tumblr.com/post/27116435http://thisblogisfake.tumblr.com/post/27116435Sat, 23 Feb 2008 20:56:00 -0500This morning I got out of bed, walked over to my closet, and spent about 10 minutes deciding what pair of pants to wear. Then I opted to get in the shower before making a final decision. Distracted by the pants conundrum, I shampooed my hair with body wash. If I may be frank: my hair smells spectacularly today. Oh, and I went with the black pants.http://thisblogisfake.tumblr.com/post/27116041http://thisblogisfake.tumblr.com/post/27116041Sat, 23 Feb 2008 20:47:00 -0500